“Stepping back” – That was a phrase I never accepted… until I had Li’on.
If someone had told the Nhi of 6 years ago: “Later, when you have kids, you’ll have to curb your ambition, cut down on business trips, stop going to acoustic cafes alone whenever you feel like it, and stop posting ‘gram-worthy’ photos at trendy coffee shops,” she would have definitely laughed it off.
Back then, to me, career was everything. Me – working in Marketing and Client Relations – a person obsessed with numbers, with Master Plans detailed down to the day. I was someone ready to travel to the West or the North to meet clients at 8 PM if my boss called. In my dictionary back then, the words “Backing down” did not exist.
But then, Li’on arrived. And my worldview turned upside down.
The “Sudden Brake”: Why a workaholic started stepping back
I remember the early days returning to the work grind when Li’on was 2 years old. I was still Nhi, still full of ideas for new campaigns, still a perfectionist with every banner and every process for the Telesales team. But there is a brutal truth that no management course teaches you: You cannot set KPIs for a child.
Li’on doesn’t care if his mom is meeting a Brand or exporting a weekly report. He screams, he demands to play with mom, he wants to tell me stories about his class, or simply… he just needs mom’s scent. Li’on, thankfully, spoke early and uses language well to express his feelings for a 2-year-old, but that also stresses me out if I don’t reply exactly how he wants. In those moments, all the numbers and charts become meaningless.
That was when it hit me. Have I “stepped back”? Maybe I have.
“Stepping back” isn’t failure, it is a choice
I used to be afraid of falling behind, afraid of being seen as useless. And honestly… I still am. But being Li’on’s mom, and the “servant” to Money, Tony, Moon, and Mít, I realized my definition of success has changed.
“Stepping back” for me now doesn’t mean giving up my career or losing myself.
– It means accepting closing the laptop a little earlier to read a book with my son before lights out, instead of trying to stay late to check a few more leads.
– Sometimes, it is about saying no to unnecessary social gatherings, to go home and play Magnetic Building Blocks with him, or make flan for the family.
– Most importantly, I realized that I am not Superwoman. I cannot be a tough manager and a gentle, never-angry mother at the same time.
That 2-year-old “Little Nugget” opened my eyes
That tiny, cute thing in my arms looks harmless but is actually formidable. In this world, no one could force Nhi to wake up at 2 AM or 3 AM. No one could survive making Nhi mad. No one could keep Nhi at home if she wanted to go out to the movies with friends. That was when Nhi didn’t have Li’on.
– He helped me eat less salty food.
– Thanks to him, going to bed before 9 PM and waking up at 3 AM is not something too scary anymore.
– He helped me learn to control my temper. At least by 40%.
– Also, I learned patience, how to listen more, and how to ask “Why?” as much as possible.
Especially, Li’on helps me see my own shadow through the ages. Seeing how he grows different every day, how he experiences the world through each stage makes me imagine: “Did I used to be like that too?” It’s amazing!
A message to other moms who are also feeling “wobbly”
If you are like Nhi, torn between the desire to prove yourself and the vocation of motherhood, don’t be too hard on yourself.
We step back from the stage spotlight a little bit, to stand in the warm light of family. There, your most loyal audience member – your child – is waiting. And trust Nhi, being your child’s “idol” feels way better than any title on a business card.
Thank you, Li’on, for teaching Mom to live slower and love deeper.
Hey Mamas, has anyone else felt “whiplash” when returning to work like Nhi? Share your stories in the comments so we can comfort each other!